Week 21: Pregnancy backache is all my fault, apparently!

I am now officially annoyed. If I'd written this post just 2-3 hours earlier, I'd have been upset and in tears, but as is the thing with pregnancy hormones, I'm moving on from one emotion to the other fairly rapidly.

The reason for my anger? A very unsympathetic GP, who I went to see for reassurance but left feeling really fat and a failure. Basically, I've been feeling under the weather this week and that coupled with excruciating back pain, meant I sought out a doctor's appointment. Now this is the first time I've been to see my doctor since getting pregnant with any ailment, but she treated me like I was some hysterical first time mum who didn't know anything.

After I explained that the lower back pain/hip pain was causing me problems walking and also sleeping (if I move a millimetre I get extreme pain shooting through my back and leg), she asked me how far gone I was. When I told her 22 weeks, she laughed saying 'Oh, you're VERY large. That will be why you're getting pain as you're a larger lady'. Then she laughed exclaiming that I would have another 4 months of this pain. Ha, ha, ha - NOT FUNNY!

At the time, I was so desperate to get some advice (which I didn't get by the way, she told me to do all the things I was already doing - exercise, pregnancy pillows, hot and cold treatments) that I glossed over her insult. However, when my husband asked how it went, I burst into tears, wailing that I was fat and the pain was all my fault.

So I'm posting my pic of me and my bare belly now to reassure myself that I'm not fat. I've only put on 13 pounds since the beginning of my pregnancy, which after some research, seems to be about the right amount of weight to have put on. Do let me know if you think I'm a lardy arse though?!

It made me realise that GPs are not always the best port of call when you're pregnant. I rang my midwife immediately after this disappointing encounter, and not only did she immediately book me in for some pregnancy physio, but she reassured me that it wasn't about my weight, but did ask if I'd been overdoing it lately. Guilty as charged, m'lud. I was out every night last week, which included 2 gym sessions and 3 out and about with friend sessions, plus I shopped until I dropped at the weekend, when I suddenly realised we have nothing for the baby.

If anything, as well as making me lose my faith in the medical profession, this incident has made me realise that as much as I want to carry on as if nothing has changed, it has. I'm carrying another little person now and that extra weight and responsibility means I should slow down. I even found myself pushing myself extra hard at the gym the other night in order to prove all the onlookers that I still had it. Sad or what? I suppose I want to prove that after this pregnancy, I will still be me and not just someone's mum. Thank god, I still have another 4 months to work it all out.