Week 17: The first kick

The things you discover on the internet, eh? This week I discovered that not only is my baby the size of an avocado (why do they always compare the size to fruit and vegetables?) but this is the week it will always start kicking! Except in my case, it happened two weeks ago... although I didn't actually realise until this week what it was.

In fact, I thought I was feeling a tad gassy - bubbles in the stomach, bloating, you know the score. Even my husband, who had his hand lay on my tummy, felt the bubbly sensation. Now, however, after reading various articles on the web, I realise this was my baby kicking. Not quite the momentous occasion I had thought it would be... and not as reassuring as I thought it would be either.

Now I'm paranoid if I haven't had the weird fluttering sensation and keep analysing every possible bubble - it is wind? is it a kick - to see if the little blighter is alright. This pregnancy lark really isn't easy. I've tried to be laidback but it would be so easy to step into the world of neurotic new mum.

Anyway, I'll be starting the new decade 4 and a half months pregnant, and as hubby is working, I'll be spending tonight - New Year's Eve - on my own. I really don't mind though - this time next year, we'll be a whole proper family and I think that's worth sacrificing just one night out for! Happy new year to you all.

Week 16: Christmas without the booze

Christmas is a strange time to be pregnant. It's that time of year when everyone drinks, eats and spends far too much - none of which I really felt I could indulge in. So it's not been particularly Christmassy for me. That's not to say I haven't enjoyed people pampering me and telling me to put my feet up but I feel I've missed out on the festive fun somewhat.

Take my Christmas party (a snap from which is below - that's me, second from the right). It was great fun getting dressed up and all the pre-party anticipation... which is why it was such a let down. There are some social events when you do need to drink - and this was one of them. In fact, I was so bored, that I left at 10pm! I'm not sure whether it was the constant slurring of my work colleagues or the fact they kept telling me it was a shame I couldn't drink or that I looked good - for a preganant women - but I was just beyond bored.

The only thing getting me through is that this time next year, baby will be here and I'll actually be able to indulge in the odd glass of champers without feeling very, very guilty.

I also really hated the whole party fashion dilemma. Being only 4 months pregnant, I'm not quite big enough for maternity clothes yet my old dresses don't fit. My top tip? Hit the cheapo shops such as Primark and buy one size bigger. The dress I'm wearing above cost me the grand total of £14 so I don't care if I never wear it again... however, I'm off to a 40th birthday party soon and so it will be getting some good use.

My other top tip? Accessorise, accessorise, accessorise. It's the only way you can stand out in a sea of smock dresses and tunics. Oh and don't give up those high heels until you absolutely must.

Week 14: Hormones go wild!

Ask any of my friends and family and they'll tell you that 'emotional' should be my middle name. My moods swing back and forth as much as Jennifer Aniston's love life. I can be manic, hilarious, moody, sad, and I cry at the drop of a hat.  I have been known to cry at EastEnders... and my mother tells me I cried every day until I was 8. So, you can imagine how much all those close to me are enjoying the fact that pregnancy has sent my hormones well into overdrive.

Now I get elated at anything, but more prominently I get upset at EVERYTHING. I've actually been reduced to tears while reading some heartwrenching story in the newspaper on the train in the morning so many times that I've become a master at pretending to have a cold and wipe away the sniffles.

I also take everything way too personally - whether it's someone slagging my Mariah Carey interview off on You Tube or someone bumping into me on the overcrowded streets of London. I've always been quite self critical, but this really is taking things to the extreme! At least, I know I'm a stupid, blubbing bag of hormones.

One thing I didn't guarantee on though was one of my very best friends going through IVF while I am pregnant. I know she is dreadfully hurt by my situation. My husband and I are very lucky people as I'm 36 and we only tried for a month before we got pregnant; whereas my poor friend has been trying for a couple of years and has just started on her IVF journey. Nothing prepared me for the phone call I made to tell her my good news, as it was also when she told me her first attempt had failed. We've known each since we were 3 so it's gutting that at the moment, she wants to keep me at arm's length. I've emailed, I've sent flowers, but she just doesn't want to know.

In my pre-pregnancy state, I wouldn't have taken this to heart at all, instead realising it was her situation upsetting her. However, now, I truly believe it's me. I'm so scared she won't want to see me this Christmas.

I'm just hoping the hormones came down a bit as my bump grows as this rate, I'll be crying over my copy of Grazia every Tuesday!

Week 13: The Nublet's first starring role!

The first scan. It's almost a holy thing, isn't it? I've heard mums-to-be eulogise about how amazing it was and how it created a bond between them and baby, so I was expecting big things.

Now, don't get me wrong - it's an amazing thing to see your baby for the first time, but rather than be overwhelmed with emotions, I was in awe at the tiny brain you can see and thinking about what path life had in store for this little nublet. However, there was emotion aplenty from the husband who ran to the screen, with a tear in his eye, prompting the scanner to tell him to 'sit down sir so your wife can see the screen'. Bless him.

I was also really relieved to find out everything was OK as I managed to pick up a nasty stomach bug in Cuba and all sorts of things were running through my head. To see it's little heart beating was truly out of this world, however, it didn't make me go mushy. Instead, it's actually made me more excited about the journey we're embarking on. The next scan is in January and we will be able to tell the sex. We've decided to find out, causing some people to say we're removing the romance from the situation, but I say if we find out the sex, that's one gender less of baby names to argue over!

The nublet also had another starring role this week as my interview with Mariah Carey went live on You Tube. OK, so it's not TV, but 7,500 people have viewed it making the nublet a star in my eyes! OK, so you can't see much of a tummy but what a thing to be able to say to the baby when it's all grown up... you were in my tummy when Mummy met Mariah! Let's just hope her diva tendencies didn't wash off on the bump. Mariah kept me waiting 4 hours, I'm hoping the nublet will not keep me waiting too much once the labour process starts!