It has though been compounded by other external situations. The snow for starters. It's stressful enough trying to get to work for 3 hours and failing, let alone when you're a pregnant, hormonal mess. I even cried during one commute because of the pushing and shoving and shouting. God, I'm so sensitive.
Also, I seem to be surrounded by death at the moment. Or is it that I'm just more aware? My husband's uncle died, my best friend's father died, but saddest of all, a close friend's husband died on New Year's Eve in a bike accident. She's not even 30 and is a widow. Just typing that has set me off again. I can't even begin to imagine how she's going to cope and it's made me even more over protective over my husband. His job is quite dangerous anyway so I'm not able to relax until I know he's home OK.
Being pregnant does make you dwell on death a lot though. You're constantly told that you could lose the baby, or there could be something wrong with it, which obviously makes you contemplate the unfairness that is life. You're also carrying a brand new life, something more precious than anything else in the world, and boy that is scary. Sometimes I'm so scared of doing harm to the baby that I'm paralysed, lying in bed afraid to move or eat or anything.
I also worry about losing those I love more. Before if anything happened to the husband, I would of course have been devastated however, I would've picked myself up and got on with it. Now, I don't think I could. I wouldn't just be losing my soul mate and best friend but also the father of my unborn child.
So, this week I've mostly been about distraction. This works so much better than anything else. Whether it's exercising, going out with friends, watching movies with the husband, until this emotional kidnapping of my brain is over, I think it's the only way to cope!
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