Week 18: Rebelling against type!

I am not your normal mummy-to-be type. In fact, it was fair to say that most people were shocked when I told them the news I was expecting - me included. It's something that's never been on my to do list - I've been too busy carving out a new media career and living the Sex And The City lifestyle to even contemplate babies. And maybe it's because I've never craved the bump and the snuggling newborn, that this pregnancy is proving to be quite a difficult emotional ride for me.

I hate getting fat. I hate that this little creature is taking over my body, and controlling how I feel and look. I hate feeling vulnerable (something that has really hit home during this snowy period). I hate not being able to run as fast. I hate not drinking alcohol! Don't get me wrong, there are lots of things I love about it, but it's a difficult concept to get your head around, especially when expressing such views are taboo in our society.

So thank god for femininst writer Naomi Wolf and her book, Misconceptions: Truth, Lies and the Unexpected on the Journey to Motherhood. Without this wise tome, I think I would've gone crazy. This is a great book to reassure you that what you're going through is normal - not everyone bonds immediately with their bump or enjoys gaining weight. It's a tad American, especially when it talks about medical procedures, which hopefully are a lot different to ours, but it's been invaluable to me.

Naomi hated being vulnerable too. And fat. And patronised. I am not alone. She also makes a worthwhile point that pregnant women aren't valued in our society - we're seen as a strain, especially in the workforce, are ignored by those around us (I see this one on the train EVERY day) and are generally seen as a bit of a nuisance. In other societies, pregnant women are revered and worshipped. I'm not asking for this, but just a bit of consideration - from everyone around me. I don't want to go out as much thanks - it's boring not drinking. I can't get around as quickly now. Trudging through snow and waiting on a freezing cold platform for 45 minutes when you're pregnant with a bladder the size of a pea is hard work - so please appreciate it when I do get into the office.

I don't want to finish my post on a negative vibe though, so I will list the things I like about being pregnant. It's nice being fussed over by my husband. I can eat anything I like. My disco naps on a weekend afternoon are now seen as legitimate. Being over hormonal and moody is acceptable. Oh, and I'm part of a huge miracle that is life - a whole new person is inside me and their whole future awaits them and that quite frankly, is bloody exciting!